Saturday, December 27, 2008

Australia?

'Hey Molly,
My name’s Sara and I’m a huge fan. But not a scary
one, I promise. Although then again isn’t the
murderers and rapists who always say that? I’m
ranting. Um, okay well I'll get off the topic by
stating my and your shared interest in Jenga! I love
it and you seem to love it to. But now that I’ve put
you off to sleep a few times I would like to get to my
actual point by asking you this:

“WHY ON EARTH HAVE YOU NOT COME TO AUSTRALIA YET!”
You probably hate questions like this one, but I am
quite angry at you, so I can justify irritating you.
We aren’t just a bunch of hill-billys (is that how you
spell it?) who ride kangaroos and play weird hollow
sticks (didgeridoos – yes I know – funny name... Ha
ha. Lol… Hmm.). It is getting to the point where
people seem to believe anything we tell them about
Australia if it weren’t for that movie e.g.
1. Australians speak Portuguese… yeah. Right.
2. The population of Australia is 1 million (try 20
MILLION!)
3. The Harbor Bridge is in Perth. No.
4. Our currency is Koalas and sheep. No.

I don’t know, maybe you’re one of those extremely
gullible people who believes those things but I can
tell you two things: We use DOLLARS and also that if
you don’t come to Sydney pretty damn soon I’m going to
personally come into your lovely home and slit your
throat. And there is going to be nothing Sydney (the
person) or you can do about it.


P.S. I am not a stalker. I promise.
P.P.S I know where you live Molly.
P.P.P.S Two more things: One addressed to Sydney:
Please tell me you know that your name is a city also.
P. L. E. A. S. E. and the other one’s to you, Molly:
Could you pretty please make a video response to this
email? I don’t mean like a video solely for this, but
just, you know, fit it in, in your next one. K?


Thanks for reading the full email, Sara (pronounced Se
- rah, not Sah - rah... yeah just thought you might
want to know)'


homegirl crazy.

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